2019 - How was your year?

Joined
Jul 28, 2018
Location
London
Just over two weeks to go and we are coming towards the end of the year. In the Dojo Awards thread, the question of what your favourite game of the year was asked. Thinking about it, I had my short list as: Mortal Kombat 11, Shenmue III, Red Dead Redemption 2 or Spider-Man. It then came to my attention the last two were released and completed by myself last year and not in 2019. The weeks have flown by and I can't believe in a few weeks we'll be in 2020. For me, it's been a bit of a crap year relatively speaking.

Main problem has been my job. Started the year flying out of the gate and completely out of no where, I was given a formal warning for something that was absolute nonsense and have been walking a tightrope ever since, including almost losing my job a month or so ago. That demoralised me so much that even now with a second child on the way, I am doing the minimum I have to do and care little if I was to leave.

My son was diagnosed with a glue ear and needs to have grommets inserted. The NHS being a bit of a mess at the moment means that he's on a waiting list that will take at least 6 months. He also does not communicate properly and was recently referred to speech therapy (which has a 3 month waiting list). Just really annoyed because we bought this up with both the health visitor and the nursery ages ago and both said "he's doing absolutely fine! If anything, he's advanced for his age" and because we are first time parents, we believed it. He should have actually been having his operation and doing therapy 9 months ago at least.

Lastly, I have not spoken to my wife in over a month. Can't even remember what it was now but we had a falling out and have ignored each other since then. Well, I started to ignore her. Every second I was getting back-handed comments with everything. For example, I'll be working (I work from home) and instead of simply asking if I could watch my son whilst she done XYZ, it would be "can you pay attention to your son for once and look after him whilst I.....". I will be cooking in the kitchen and have a kitchen towel on the table which I am using. She'll march in, snatch the towel and either huff and puff very loudly or start going on a rant about how I always leave it out (she will then leave it out herself and the hypocrisy is one of the reasons I simply stopped talking to her).

So all in all a eventful year in parts but it's mostly been shit events. I need a career break and a good year to gym, meditate and just relax. I know it's something I can do now but work seriously takes up too much mental space for me.
 
Turned 30 despite still looking, feeling, and acting like I'm 21.

Graduated with a 2:1 at uni, spitting in the face of the 40% cap I was hit with on one of the two evenly split assignments.

City won the domestic treble (though we lifted the PL trophy in Brighton, and I couldn't get a ticket, so technically missed out on that one)

Saw Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds at Heaton Park.

Got my old job back, settled right back in thanks to how mint the people there are.

Shenmue III got released (though I haven't played it yet)

Got my first writing credit thanks to the old Dojo member Kenny.

Cut sugar out of my brews (I have a fucking shitloada coffee on a daily basis, so it's a very good thing)

There's been a lot of smaller things that have happened throughout that time (decent parties, little moments with people, Endgame, etc) Had a few bad moments too, but it's all outweighed by how mint life is.

So yeah, the trend of years ending in 9 being good for me has continued.
 
Just over two weeks to go and we are coming towards the end of the year. In the Dojo Awards thread, the question of what your favourite game of the year was asked. Thinking about it, I had my short list as: Mortal Kombat 11, Shenmue III, Red Dead Redemption 2 or Spider-Man. It then came to my attention the last two were released and completed by myself last year and not in 2019. The weeks have flown by and I can't believe in a few weeks we'll be in 2020. For me, it's been a bit of a crap year relatively speaking.

Main problem has been my job. Started the year flying out of the gate and completely out of no where, I was given a formal warning for something that was absolute nonsense and have been walking a tightrope ever since, including almost losing my job a month or so ago. That demoralised me so much that even now with a second child on the way, I am doing the minimum I have to do and care little if I was to leave.

My son was diagnosed with a glue ear and needs to have grommets inserted. The NHS being a bit of a mess at the moment means that he's on a waiting list that will take at least 6 months. He also does not communicate properly and was recently referred to speech therapy (which has a 3 month waiting list). Just really annoyed because we bought this up with both the health visitor and the nursery ages ago and both said "he's doing absolutely fine! If anything, he's advanced for his age" and because we are first time parents, we believed it. He should have actually been having his operation and doing therapy 9 months ago at least.

Lastly, I have not spoken to my wife in over a month. Can't even remember what it was now but we had a falling out and have ignored each other since then. Well, I started to ignore her. Every second I was getting back-handed comments with everything. For example, I'll be working (I work from home) and instead of simply asking if I could watch my son whilst she done XYZ, it would be "can you pay attention to your son for once and look after him whilst I.....". I will be cooking in the kitchen and have a kitchen towel on the table which I am using. She'll march in, snatch the towel and either huff and puff very loudly or start going on a rant about how I always leave it out (she will then leave it out herself and the hypocrisy is one of the reasons I simply stopped talking to her).

So all in all a eventful year in parts but it's mostly been shit events. I need a career break and a good year to gym, meditate and just relax. I know it's something I can do now but work seriously takes up too much mental space for me.

I'm sure at some point soon you will turn a corner and life will start working out again mate. Just remember to try and be brave and maybe take a risk or 2.

Generally this year has been pretty good to me.
Plenty of work and overtime which allowed me to save up a good amount of money for a deposit towards mine and the missus new home (moving in April 2020).

Lots of gigs this year. Saw Richard Ashcroft, Muse 3 times (London, Rome, London), Foals, White Lies, Catfish and the Bottlemen, Doves, Manics and went to Victorious Festival for the 4th year running.

Had a few more holidays than usual. Went to New Forest (the usual yearly trip), went to Rome and saw Muse and used the opportunity to stay and explore for 5 days. My third time there. Best city I have been to. Love it.

Mum had been banging on about booking a Villa in Kefalonia and inviting us all for a "family" holiday for the last few years so we spent a week out there in August. Was really nice. There was 8 of us (including sisters 2 boys).

Now for the shit part.

Unfortunately at the beginning of October mum wasnt feeling great so she went and had a blood test done. They got the results and literally 24hrs later she was diagnosed with acute lymphocytic leukemia. It came out of nowhere. Just 6 weeks before we were on holiday having a nice time. Everything was kinda normal. For me, thats the fucked up part. One moment everything is as it is. And the next - upside down. Mental.

Anyway she went through stage one of chemo at Kings College London, struggled a lot towards the final week. Her liver and kidneys were damaged and she was bed ridden for a few weeks. In order to go through stage 2 they need her fit again and strong enough to survive it. As of now she has physios around her helping her walk and hopefully, as long as shes mobile again she will be home for christmas and new year, before then hitting stage 2. Bless her.

Last gig of the year next wednesday 18th at Brixton O2 to see The Libertines. Then I turn 34 on the 19th. I hate getting older.

Looking to next year - hopefully mum will pull through. Shes 58 so age is against her but we'll see.

A few more gigs lined up....White Lies again, Foals again, Stereophonics, Slipknot, Blossoms and maybe Editors if I wanna keep spending money on tickets.

Move into our lovely new home in April. Apart from New Forest no holidays planned. Looking forward to The Last Of Us 2 , FF7 Remake, Xbox Series X with Hellblade 2 and Halo Infinite. PS5. Plenty to look forward to in that respect.
 
Unfortunately at the beginning of October mum wasnt feeling great so she went and had a blood test done. They got the results and literally 24hrs later she was diagnosed with acute lymphocytic leukemia. It came out of nowhere. Just 6 weeks before we were on holiday having a nice time. Everything was kinda normal. For me, thats the fucked up part. One moment everything is as it is. And the next - upside down. Mental.

Anyway she went through stage one of chemo at Kings College London, struggled a lot towards the final week. Her liver and kidneys were damaged and she was bed ridden for a few weeks. In order to go through stage 2 they need her fit again and strong enough to survive it. As of now she has physios around her helping her walk and hopefully, as long as shes mobile again she will be home for christmas and new year, before then hitting stage 2. Bless her.

I’m sorry to hear about your mum. My mum passed away in april due to complications of a stage 4 cancer. But one thing I can say for sure is that the staff at King’s were nothing short of fantastic with her. So at least there is a positive to take from that, knowing she is in the best possible hands. At any rate, I hope your mum pulls through and I’ll be sending all the good vibes in your direction.

As for my own year. I’ve had better. Admittedly, and as stated above, losing my mum was a pretty big adjustment towards life. With that comes a whole bunch of responsibilities that are thrown at you which you’re not entirely prepared for. But I came out of the other side with a better understanding of how these things work. I’ve been slowly getting to a place where I feel more content in life, especially in terms of the adjustments that have been made. But one thing that definitely didn’t help was getting hit by a car later on in the year which was definitely a little bit frightening. But all things considered, I have my health, I got away lucky. Many people don’t. So I have that to be grateful for.

On a more positive note, I started the process of what could be a potential permanent move to Canada. So it was nice to get the ball rolling with that. I’ve seen some of my favourite bands live this year, and as far as returns go. Having Shenmue, Tool, and MCR all come back in the same year, in different capacities was a wonderful thing. I guess you really do have to take the good with the bad, and the value of art and entertainment really can’t be understated when it comes to the positive impact it can have on a person’s life.

No idea what 2020 has in store. But I know that 2019 was definitely challenging enough for me not to be too worried about what the future holds.
 
In brief:

- Passed driving test and now I'm driving my fathers' car. The car is very helpful when you need to do some household things like go shopping etc..

- Sadly but I broke with my girlfriend this year. That was the most hardest desicion for me;

- At the end of this year (In November) I start my preparation for the English test (TOEFL/IELTS I haven't decided yet which one I'll choose). That's one of the reason why I decided to join shenmue dojo (to practice my writing/grammar English) and of course to share my happiness with you about Shenmue 3 cuz I've been shenmue fan since dreamcast era;

P.S: I'll be very grateful if you correct my English grammar mistakes xD. It's very important for me right now.

- Shenmue 3 was released this year. I was literally cried in 2015 E3 when Yu came to the scene. My childhood dream at last come true.
 
I’m sorry to hear about your mum. My mum passed away in april due to complications of a stage 4 cancer. But one thing I can say for sure is that the staff at King’s were nothing short of fantastic with her. So at least there is a positive to take from that, knowing she is in the best possible hands. At any rate, I hope your mum pulls through and I’ll be sending all the good vibes in your direction.

As for my own year. I’ve had better. Admittedly, and as stated above, losing my mum was a pretty big adjustment towards life. With that comes a whole bunch of responsibilities that are thrown at you which you’re not entirely prepared for. But I came out of the other side with a better understanding of how these things work. I’ve been slowly getting to a place where I feel more content in life, especially in terms of the adjustments that have been made. But one thing that definitely didn’t help was getting hit by a car later on in the year which was definitely a little bit frightening. But all things considered, I have my health, I got away lucky. Many people don’t. So I have that to be grateful for.

Thanks for the kind words mate. And I'm really sorry to hear of your loss. Sometimes it isn't the actual loss itself, it's the result of all that comes with it that can really take its toll on the family left behind. Totally understand that.

Sounds like you had enough shit luck in 2019. Also sounds like things will settle down with you. Whatever you decide on doing, good luck and I'm sure things will work out one way or another :)
 
My mum passed away in april due to complications of a stage 4 cancer.

As for my own year. I’ve had better. Admittedly, and as stated above, losing my mum was a pretty big adjustment towards life. With that comes a whole bunch of responsibilities that are thrown at you which you’re not entirely prepared for. But I came out of the other side with a better understanding of how these things work. I’ve been slowly getting to a place where I feel more content in life, especially in terms of the adjustments that have been made.

On a more positive note, I started the process of what could be a potential permanent move to Canada. So it was nice to get the ball rolling with that.

No idea what 2020 has in store. But I know that 2019 was definitely challenging enough for me not to be too worried about what the future holds.

Besides my own mother passing in August rather than April, this is hauntingly A for A with my own situation. We'll have to compare notes in 2020.
 
What a rollercoaster of a year. Lots of bad and some good.

Bad: Grandmother and sister passed away. Moved to a new location, hoping things would be better for my family. The opposite is true. Family vehicle has had some expensive repairs needed despite being relatively new. Had my first ever car accident (very minor) despite having a perfect driving record for over 2 decades.

Good: I got a raise at work and my YouTube channel has picked up a ton of support in the last year.
 
2019 has been the biggest rollercoaster year of my life but all-in-all, it has been a most-positive year.

Pros:

- Bought a house and didn't need any outside help for the mortgage (as we were afraid our DP wouldn't be enough).
- Though we still work with the same companies (thank God), my wife and I were able to transfer/make accommodations to better suit our new living location (we're an hour and a half away from her last location and I'm 1 hour away; now she's 10-15 minutes away and I'm 4 minutes away lol)
- With the shit-ton of elbow grease and work we've done with the house, the value went up $40,000 (well, $40,000 more than what we paid, anyways) or so from when we bought it (will elaborate in the cons).
- Our vacation to Mexico was phenomenal and super memorable, (between the fishing, food and just general enjoyment).
- Leisure activities (video games, books read, aforementioned fishing) were fantastic as well, between Judge Eyes, replaying Yakuza 5 (for the 4th time lol), Shenmue III, Romance of the Three Kingdoms, the 3 James Bond Books I read, etc. and I really enjoyed my time.
- The Toronto Raptors won the NBA Championship, which was beyond awesome.

Cons:

- The house was a tenant house for all 16 years since it was built, which led to...
- The house being in absolute shambles from a cosmetic and health POV (thank God structurally and the usually expensive, "house things," were all tip-top) and between painting, duct cleaning (cleaners said that in 30 years, it was the most disgusting dwelling they'd ever done and it cost more to fix as a result), fixing the backyard (they had a left an inflatable pool, FILLED, for 3 years straight and it made a massive ring of depressed ground and muck; no grass at all) and repairing the washroom (there was {SURFACE!} mould and they never ran the fan, thus the ceiling above the shower had a ton of peeling paint), all of the repairs/fixings were about $2,500.00 more than what it could've been, if things were in a bit better shape.
- We did a patio in the backyard and while it is fine, half of it is slanted, due to the slope of our backyard. It could've been perfectly flat, but I stupidly decided to listen to my father (who truly is a jack of all trades and knows his stuff, but not enough, apparently) instead of my neighbor who is a stonemason and does patios and things for a living, thus costing me another $1,200.00 more in crushed rock, than I initially needed (yes, it was a shitload more). Then doing the patio was heavy, HEAVY work, but I'd do triple the amount of heavy work I did, if it would mean I could save the almost $4,000 I threw away(ish).
- The above put me in the hole (along with a car repair that the mechanic fucked up and charged me for his fuckup), to the tune of over $5,500.00. Not a ton, but I really could do without the headache and interest charges. In hindsight, we could've NOT gone to Mexico, but it was fully booked and paid for (including the fishing), before any of these things happened (months before).
- My father had to have a pacemaker installed and it really took away from his QOL for most of the year; he was able to get (80%) the painting done in my house, but he felt awful and many said the he looked super sick. I wasn't able to spend any quality time with him, fixing up more of (our) house(s), taking the boat out to go fishing or just general family things. He's now back in great shape and he'll definitely be back in the swing of things next year, but the timing of everything this year was terrible.
- My sports teams (aside from the Raptors) had deplorable years, with the Jays having their worst record since... 2011 (I think, maybe 2012) and the Bengals are currently 1-13 (which if they lose out, will be the worst record in franchise history... but that's not a bad thing, for the future) :(


The moral of this year was clearly, "live and learn," and, "don't take the easy way out, otherwise it (COULD!) cost you a ton of money." I'll be out of the hole debt-wise by mid next year (as my tax return will be healthy like it is every year), but our one vacation we take a year (which will also stop as we have kids, in the next year or two) may need to be cancelled and a bit more money will need to be spent to fix up our front steps, backyard a bit more and driveway (shoveling snow is borderline agonising :mad:), but money for next year should be good. Health-wise, I'm down 13 pounds in 5 weeks (put on a lot of weight this year, sadly) and the weight will continue to trend downward with my diet and boxing regimen. Leisure-wise, we'll see about vacation (I'd like to get at least 1 vacation or 2 in every year before we have kids, 'cause all focus will need to be on them and brining them on vacation can be a hassle), but all my sports teams (sans the Raptors) should have better years, as the worst record in the NFL will give the Bengals the #1 pick in the draft and the best player this year just happens to be a borderline once-in-a-lifetime player, so it's not a bad thing ;). My wife and I are still the best of friends and despite our tiffs here and there, our relationship is thankfully as strong as ever, so that's a positive as well.

Looking forward to 2020! :D
 
While something like this puts my own stuff into perspective, I am sorry to hear about a lot of the bad junk people are going through here. Hope things get better or at least pass. I’d think that my year being rather uneventful would be a bad thing, but at least that’s the worst I can say about it.

Suppose the most major thing is my computer dying, having to go back to pen and paper. Been meaning to get a better computer and tablet anyway, but for the time being, it’s not so bad when my phone can do most of what I want and I should really be practicing more before I lay down a few hundred on a new toy. Not that I’m good at saving much anyway.

Part of that is my job, though; I had been what they call “part time flex”, doing janitorial stuff in retail. This was after about a year, having been told at the first interview it would be for evening shifts and there was a chance to go full time. Thing is, it’s been mostly mornings and I was told by the one full time guy there that there was no chance at all they’d take another until he was retired. Between this and other bs, always getting blamed for things other people were doing, getting hurt and being blamed for that, and just a manager who is generally very pissy about anything and everything and disingenuous as hell, I finally had enough and told them I didn’t want to keep working basically full time hours for part time pay and no benefits. I anticipated being cut down to something like 25 hours but now I’m barely getting two days a week - that is, if they don’t try to call me in the two days I’vetold them I’m not available, just to have some consistency in a schedule that changes every single week.

I’d like to be able to say fuck it and do my art for a living but it doesn’t seem that’s in the cards for me, at least at the moment. I figure at the very least I might try to get a maintenance position at a hospital or something, just to get out of retail. It would likely still be tough but maybe the general attitude would be different.

I miss my cat Charlie who passed last year, early November, maybe a week before my birthday. He was really my sister’s since she picked him out, must have had him for 10-13 years, but he would always want to be in my room. Nowadays, my other sister and her husband moving into a big apartment with us, they’ve brought in 3 cats, and ever since Charlie passed, one of theirs, Diane, has pretty much taken over, though in many ways she’s a bit more annoying, especially her seeming to wait for my to get home from work at the front door.

Lastly, there’s this more or less of a pen pal...well, not that different from any online friend I guess. Been talking to someone named Angie for the past couple years, off and on. When I first talked to her, I just kind of assumed she was Japanese since I was looking for people to practice what I’ve learned. And so she assumed I was also Japanese. :p Turns out she was born and is living in China, and is seemingly very well self taught in English. Not perfect and I still tell her about plenty of words or grammar stuff, but it’s very easy to understand each other. I don’t know near as much Chinese but it seems like I might try more.

So, she sent me a ton of beef jerky for my birthday last year, which I’m not really sure why but why not, but this past birthday she surprised me with $200. Maybe that’s just not a lot over there or making whatever she does working for some sort of circus, but all I’ve got her for her birthdays were some drawings and this past year a stuffed tiger and a ring, that for whatever reason got lost somewhere. I maybe should have read up on what can and can’t be sent to China, but I thought it would be fine since both were pretty cheap and not dangerous or anything. It could have been that I wrote the address wrong, too, since it’s really confusing. I’m hoping I can find something easier to do that she would still like.

Not sure what the consensus is on mgtow on a site like this, I don’t necessarily like to be part of it as a group myself just on the idea that something similar like atheism isn’t really a collective of any kind. There’s plenty of women in my life who are family or friends but for a long time I’ve just put off any kind of romantic interest after being burned repeatedly, worse and worse each time.

Perhaps this thing with someone overseas isn’t all that serious, maybe there’s no actual intimacy, and I don’t know what if any expectations she has, but I figure this is enough for me for now. Maybe one day we’ll meet, but I can’t imagine making a big decision to move there, nor having her give up anything there either to move here. Just some companionship without any drama has been a bit of a stress relief.

She seemed to liken a sketch of John Lennon and Yoko Ono I’ve done to me and her, but whenever I have tried to actually draw her I just can’t seem to get it right.

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A lot like Shenmue III, my 2019 has been one of looking inwards.

At the beginning of the year I spent a month in Japan studying. It was a great way to spend a month but it also put some serious questions in my head. After studying the language for 6 years, can I really hang in that country? Could I really make it in that country? Could I move and live there? Part of me says I could, the other part of me says "no, don't be a fool! You're not that great at this language!"

Towards the end of that trip, I ended up having a bit of an anxiety attack that led to me not leaving my appartment for three days straight. It's not the first time I've had an anxiety attack and it's not the longest one I've had (the longest one saw me locking myself away from the outside world for about four weeks straight -- but that was in the midst of serious depression)

It was due to personal reasons, but I ended up going back to therapy not long after that. Yes, I occasionally see a shrink but speaking as someone who is certifiably bi-polar, well I'm not ashamed to admit this.

So yeah, most of the year has been spent looking inwards and examining what is going on in my own life. Re-assessing and figuring out what it is I want from life at this time.

Other than that, 2019 has been solid. I got a much needed pay rise at work. I've been saving money (for me, that's a good thing considering in the past I was very prone to a lot of irrational impulse spending), I've done a couple of things I'm really proud of this year involving this site. And I've had a good time talking to people on this site and hanging out in general here.

It's been a good time. A year of ups and downs, but to be honest, that's the story of my life so far :D
 
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