Random Thoughts

I have a work rant, just something I have to get off my chest. Started a new job over a year ago and everything was going more than fine; made a number of important changes, always got the vast majority of my bonus and met all my objectives. Not being in that industry before or clued up on the tech side of things (which is not part of my job), I was not afraid to ask questions and was happy to say what I had no clue about.

Long story short, my boss went on holiday during a crucial part of a new project that was being launched (it was supposed to be launched long before) and I had to take over the day to day of what he was doing. Being thrown in the middle of something is not ideal but I can handle as long as I know the right people to ask. So, my boss is getting many request that are coming his way which are being forwarded to me as he's away, 90% of them are tech related and I haven't, nor am I expected to, have a clue. Because of this, I ask a lot of questions but the head of IT decides to tell my boss that I kept dumping stuff on him and his team.

Boss pulls me up about it and I'm just baffled as I've literally asked the IT team about IT related issues and literally getting in trouble doing that. We went through every email (4!) and it turns out that I was never going to be in a position to know those answers. I actually ended up having a performance review about it! Such a stupid situation. Nothing came of the review because it was absolute nonsense but since then it has left me in a position where it has knocked my confidence straight out and I feel in limbo in positions where I don't know the answer. Usually I don't care if I felt the question was silly or if I was bothering someone because in the end it was my job I needed to get done but now I am literally scared what an email can do for my career here.

My boss, seemingly having read some stupid book about how to be a manager, has started asking me on "my thoughts" on random things I am shit scared that if I say "I don't know" or ask for help, he's going to turn it into another reason to pull me up for another performance review. For example, he sends me over a contract to get one of the guys internally to sign. I've then forwarded it on only for my boss to call me and say "we just don't forward things on, it's always best to call, that's how we do things here" etc... Now, of course what he's saying isn't technically wrong but it something I will of course do. He's not even judging me on the result and I also never simply "forwarded" the contract. Again, this was something that came up in my appraisal.

Just minor things after minor things and it's literally giving me anxiety. I've got so fed up with professional services recently but this place is probably going to be the straw that breaks me.
 
Wow Tokyo really has become expensive to visit. Sure, it has always been an expensive place but hotel prices seem insane now compared to what they used to be.
 
just saw the movie Joker. i thought it was a good film.

not going to say more than it was a decent into madness.
 
changed my mind on what I was posting.
 
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What a shit day today. Can't really point my finger at a particular thing but I spent the whole weekend dreading going to work this Monday. Raining all day, legs ached for some reason and just spent the whole day feeling stressed and a lot of apprehension.
 
I like Pugs. But i never would buy one. There is a animation-series for kids with a Pug in the main role.
 
It's incredible how strong synapses can be.
I find it really hard to listen to Dio without wanting to have a drink.
 
I like Pugs. But i never would buy one. There is a animation-series for kids with a Pug in the main role.
My in laws have two pugs, Iโ€™ve never been around a pug prior to meeting them. Mine is a pug/chihuahua mix, so he has a nose that wonโ€™t give him problems like full breed pugs will have later down the road. I feel bad for them, mine has a side profile but their faces are flat as a board. They have so much personality though !
 
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