- Joined
- Jul 28, 2018
- Location
- London
Hi all, a bit of a personal one. When I was younger, I was a bully and overall dick head. This was largely before I was 10, I was super-aggressive and used to fight people all the time for no reason. I remember waiting for a girl to come back to her desk and started hitting her in the head because of something she said to me earlier (which was in response to something I did, in other words there was zero excuse for it). My parents used to care for other children and I used to ban them from using my room (with the TV) or force them to sit outside. Again, a dick head of a child on a power trip. I can pretty much write pages and pages of all the bad stuff I done.
Long story short, karma rightfully came in and for the next few years, I ended up the one being bullied. Bullied to a put I was borderline suicidal and it affected me radically during my early adult years. In college and university I would intentionally avoid people out of fear I would be bullied again. This led to me having pretty much having no friends. My phone would last a week without charging because it only rang if my mum was too lazy to call me from downstairs.
Anyway, part of being bullied is that I became ultra-passive. If anyone was rude to me, I would hardly challenge back. The sad things about this though is that I have no problem pushing back and being somewhat mean to people that I am close with. This has led to situations where at work, there have been situation where people have been rude to me and I have no fought back in the same way I would do with someone who was close to me.
My question is, do people need to toughen up or should I just accept who I am? Someone at work sends a rude email to me. My instinct and what I want to do is simply ignore it. However, my wife would say I need to toughen up and put x person in his place. Especially as if she is rude to my, I would quickly put her in her place. I agreed with that to an extent but then realised some people are just worth arguing with and others are not. The grumpy guy at work is not my boss so I just simply let his angry responses slide and got on with my day. It doesn't actually bother me. What bothers me is people being bothered that I am not responding in such a way.
I have to admit I am just typing now. Had an idea of what this topic would be about but I don't think the above is too clear and I am just writing nonsense now to let loose. Anyway, feel free to respond!
Long story short, karma rightfully came in and for the next few years, I ended up the one being bullied. Bullied to a put I was borderline suicidal and it affected me radically during my early adult years. In college and university I would intentionally avoid people out of fear I would be bullied again. This led to me having pretty much having no friends. My phone would last a week without charging because it only rang if my mum was too lazy to call me from downstairs.
Anyway, part of being bullied is that I became ultra-passive. If anyone was rude to me, I would hardly challenge back. The sad things about this though is that I have no problem pushing back and being somewhat mean to people that I am close with. This has led to situations where at work, there have been situation where people have been rude to me and I have no fought back in the same way I would do with someone who was close to me.
My question is, do people need to toughen up or should I just accept who I am? Someone at work sends a rude email to me. My instinct and what I want to do is simply ignore it. However, my wife would say I need to toughen up and put x person in his place. Especially as if she is rude to my, I would quickly put her in her place. I agreed with that to an extent but then realised some people are just worth arguing with and others are not. The grumpy guy at work is not my boss so I just simply let his angry responses slide and got on with my day. It doesn't actually bother me. What bothers me is people being bothered that I am not responding in such a way.
I have to admit I am just typing now. Had an idea of what this topic would be about but I don't think the above is too clear and I am just writing nonsense now to let loose. Anyway, feel free to respond!