The entire game is an absolute fucking train wreck. Now, I haven't played Sonic 06, but I have played Sonic Labyrinth. I've played a lot of pre-Heroes Sonic games, maybe all of them. This is without doubt the worst of the lot. An abomination.
Maybe that's a little harsh, but to say that it's a well made game is just flat out false. I get that people's opinions on things, and their enjoyment levels of it, are all subjective, but there are aspects of this game that are objectively bad, and this cannot be denied, therefore can not been considered a well made game.
Now I'm gonna tell a little story I may have already brought up in the past...
When I was growing up, we didn't have a lot of money, but we weren't living in poverty either. We could afford things, but not much. Me and my brother put up half the money to our Dreamcast to buy it, but that was a bit of a rare case. It wasn't rare that we'd put money towards thing ourselves, but it was rare that we'd have money to do it. This was because that money was constantly getting "borrowed" by my parents, as they were usually in some kinda hushed financial predicament.
I clocked all this at an early age, and began to understand money and its value midway through primary school, so I'd ask for less, even to the point of refusing things. Hell, I'd refuse biscuits being offered by a relative because I just assumed everything was a valuable commodity. This means that I rejected a ticket for Wembley 99, missing
that Dickov goal, and Weaver save (though I used to lie and say I went because I had some weird kinda shame for having the opportunity to go and saying no)
Anyway, on my 12th birthday (I think), my mam took me to town to spend my birthday money. I intended on getting a Dreamcast or Gameboy title. Then, almost out of nowhere, I see on the screen the trailer for Sonic Adventure 2! This was when it had a silver logo instead of the eventual one.
Now, at the time, I was still reading Sonic comics, and would constantly play Sonic Adventure. Loved that game. Still do really. The sequel wasn't out, but would be soon, so I went to ask about it and apparently it'd been delayed from the intended release to another. I didn't know at the time that it was to be for the 10th anniversary, and on reflection it may not have had its date moved, but the shop's
assumption of the release window meant that it had indeed been moved from that which was being advertised at the time.
That was fine, I could make do with the £3 Batman book from my parents, as well as the shirt I'd never wear from my aunt, as I'd mainly got money, and it was just enough for Sonic Adventure 2 and a game magazine (remember how expensive those fucker were?) So a pre-order receipt would do me. This was Sonic Adventure 2 for fuck sake!
To my surprise, the pre-order cost nothing. Or maybe it was a quid, I don't remember, but I didn't have to hand over any notes. So, with this three month delay, all I had to do was put that money in a safe space.
My mam also realised I didn't need it for a few months, so asked to "borrow" it for a while. I agreed, stressing the condition that I get it back in time to get the game on release. "Of course" I'd get it back...
Eventually that time came around. I have family who live in Lincoln (RAF family that moved about and settled there) They were down for the week, and we were to take them back at the end of it and stay there for a fortnight. It was all fairly standard stuff, it happened every year, we could only afford to go abroad once during my childhood.
While they were down though, we were gonna go to the football masters tournament. Just the lads, obviously. Girls don't like football, do they?
The masters was basically an indoor five-a-side tournament for retired players who were strongly linked to a specific club. It was actually better than you'd think, and always odd for me seeing City do well in any kinda competition that wasn't the first division (formerly the second division, but now the Championship)
This was gonna be a great time for me. The Masters, a holiday, and Sonic Adventure
fucking 2! And both the Masters and getting the game were happening on the very same day! Mint time to be me!
So, I woke up giddy as fuck, tried to keep quiet about it (again, I never liked asking for things), as I assumed everyone would know about it. It had been an agreement in place for months. But maybe people had other things going on. It was, after all, only
me who was excited about it, and whilst he'd certainly enjoy playing it, my brother was probably sick to death about me banging on about it. No bother, I'd bring it up myself. And I needed to, because time was ticking on, and we had to be at the arena for the masters by a certain time, let alone go out and get the game.
"So when are we going to get Sonic Adventure 2?"
"What?"
"Sonic Adventure 2 is out today, and I need the money back to go and get it, I have the receipt right here, should we go after this?" ("This" being whatever shit thing was on TV at the time)
"Oh you'll have to wait."
"Wait? Until after the next one?"
"No, I can't afford it. You'll have to wait a while before we get it."
I felt destroyed. An argument ensued. My mam needed the money to get us clothes for the holiday. Why though? I already had clothes... I was promised. I had the receipt. I needed that money back. Worst thing is, I felt embarrassed on behalf of my parents over them needing their own child's money, so never mentioned the fact it was mine and owed to me. This undoubtedly made me look like an utter spoiled brat in front of rest of the family.
My mam went full-on dragon mode, and I resorted to sulking and making it blatantly obvious how I felt about it.
Enter my dad. In many ways he was the bane of my childhood. Could rarely watch Saturday morning cartoons because he wanted to watch Soccer AM. Could rarely watch cartoons over the summer because of test matches (for those who don't know, test cricket lasts all day for weeks). Always had to keep as quiet as a mouse in the gaff because he worked nights.
Occasionally though, out of nowhere, he'd do something I considered heroic. This was one of those times.
He stepped in. "It's his money from his birthday, you promised to give it back, and he's been looking forward to this for weeks." It was months actually, but whatever.
He knew he was fucking himself up. Like an elephant, the dragon does not forget, and she certainly does not forgive. But he came through. He got the money. He drove me to town (pain in the arse coz of parking btw, and I think it was at the weekend) Together we got the game.
Didn't have time to play it though because of the Masters, so I brought the case with me, absorbed every word within the manual, and marvelled at the tiny coloured screenshots on the back.
The next day I finally played it. The opening level was fine, I thought. But why have I gone straight to another character? When will I get to explore the world? Maybe it'll come after the next section...
I kept thinking this over and over, not really enjoying the game at all, but bursting with excitement about the new hub world. However, it slowly started to dawn on me that it would never come. No hub world. And I didn't like what I was playing.
My first experience of buying into the hype only to be left with crushing disappointment.
I've often thought "maybe this is why I dislike the game so much" only to think of other times I could've fallen victim to the same thing. Shenmue was nothing as I expected it to be, and Shenmue II made lots of changes I didn't like. I still loved them. I'd never been more hyped for a game than the first Sonic Adventure, yet I ate that shit up. All three of those got both great and average reviews.
I was hyped for Oblivion, and was disappointed. Hell, I bought the special edition with the coin and the map despite not even owning a 360. That's how hyped I was for it. But I found it boring. Never thought it was an objectively bad game though.
Phantasy Star Online Ver 2 (offline), GTA V, any non-Kanto Pokemon game, Sonic Generations, Mario Kart 64, Giant Killers, Assassin's Creed IV, A Link to the Past, so many other games that I've been so excited for, yet just haven't really enjoyed at all... But still, nowhere
near as bad as this one.
I bought Sonic Adventure 2 Battle for the Gamecube. The first game I bought for it. I thought it'd be an improvement. It wasn't. I've recently gone back to - and am currently playing - it on the 360. And somehow, despite the circumstances around the first time I played it, now it feels even
worse.
And trust me, I am the type that can still enjoy games from the past. I can view them in the correct context. Sure, things can seem odd, and at times they'll frustrate me massively, but I don't consider them bad. Why? Because there weren't set standards back then. It's okay for them to "not have figured it out yet".
Not the case for Sonic Adventure 2 though. People can play the first and not enjoy it, that's fine. But nobody can tell me that SA2 is objectively better. And they certainly can't say it's a well mare game, because it most definitely isn't.
Sonic Adventure 2 is one of the
worst games I've had the displeasure of experiencing. It's definitely a bad game.
